Now that I figured out email and please do bare in mind I am a 15 year – please note that 15 year old in the nineties is different to a15 year old. I think we were a bit innocent lol .
Anyways so I stumbled upon yahoo chat room – so at that point I don’t remember much about any other chats rooms except this one. Did anything exist? Maybe but as I had a yahoo email address this was the only one.
I was super excited and would wait for my brother to leave so I could log into the computer which was sadly situated in his room. I mean don’t even get me started on gender equality among Tamil parents . Ok okay he was studying computer stuff but still why did I not get one. Okay yes it was expensive. Fine fine I will move on to my actual point.
So I finally log in and create a name which takes for ever and let’s just say it’s maya26 for example.
For some reason I increased my age to sound more grownup and started talking to a guy called R. He seemed quite witty and I kept on getting asl questions from tons of people. I first couldn’t figure out what it meant and after trail and error and looking like a complete duff to some I figured that it was age sex location.
I guess after chatting for a considerable amount of time, people need to narrow their pool because you don’t want to waste tons of time talking to someone to find out that they are like not our creiteria. Everyone wanted something.
I think I found my calling. Chatting was absolutely awesome. If u get bored you simply close their window and move on.
Some were absolute creeps and asking pics was a typical second move. A bit like tinder these days where the creeps still exists – time doesn’t change certain traits in people. They will exist .
As long as I know I have chatted online. I don’t know exactly know the age I started but I think it was around my teens when I felt very alone due to lack of social skills and hence the new world of the chat rooms really thrilled me. I was fascinated hooked.
I didn’t know what to do or where to go but somehow came to the world of yahoo chats. The age of new chat rooms was the time where being on the internet was soo expensive. I had to dodge my brother who was the owner of the computer and using his completely introvert side helped me as he was always out during weekends. Barely in mind he was only a year elder to me and I was like 15 I think but my parents handled us girls and boys differently. Okay let’s not get into how we were brought up as that would be for a completely different book plot. I mean I could go on .
Anyways back to my past. Yes yahoo chats was what I stumbled upon and I here I was in the net world . I had to make a email address which my brother made for me and slowly made another one for me . I am 15 so sneakiness was not a skill we kids didn’t possess.
My parents, in their own world dealing with all the various problems that one has left me with plenty of time to thrown my constant need for attention to the World Wide Web and here is Sheree the story lies
Now u must be wondering how is this relating to this story.
It’s like That saying. You got to start from the beginning otherwise this story won’t make any sense. Why does a sensible women fall into the pits of lies and deception?
So to make sense we need to get into the character that is me. Don’t worry I don’t plan to write about the continuous non existence lack of excitement in my life in my teens. It was typical shit sometimes . Oh did I mention I was fat. I sometimes think I need to blame something on the fact that being fat played a whole part .
Oh well let’s take it in year at a time. From the ages of 15 to 35- phew 20 years and have I changed. Haha this is not a story about how I mended my ways and learnt the true value of love. Oh boy u picked up the wrong book. Please choose wisely next time.
See you in chapter two where we talk about how I learnt the language of chat.
I missed again..
So typical of me.. but it’s okay.. I have a plan.. I have just downloaded the app on my phone so hopefully this would make me continue this On day to day basis.
I mean I have so much to talk about or the fact I have none to share it. I mean obviously I do have people to share but the problem is when I speak I am not very clear and if I can’t understand a word of what I am saying what would the chances be of you who is reading this on a quiet Tuesday afternoon going to think?
I know my grammar is superb and you only found out a few hundred mistakes but hey that’s not why I am here. I ain’t here to teach you English .its all about me me me..
selfish is truly indulging isn’t it..
Not bad.. only been a few months.. i think this might last… doesnt matter.. no one is ever going to read this.. i just watched thirutu payale 2 yesterday( a tamil movie) .. such a good movie. the three lead actors just clicked into their roles. i wonder when i will be able to even complete a part of my book which i have been working on for years.
Its 2018 soon.. what shall be my goals for that year. actually i cant remember if i did any one of those for 2017. maybe i should give up.. i hope i can atleast still to writing this blog.. haha.. that would be a start. i mind end up here 3 years later.
i am quite proud of myself that i am finally finished an album i have been working on for decades.. okay an year.. just feels that long.. now dont think i am working on some music album.. oh i do wish.. its a photo album.. nothin special.. i guess.
Right now i did compose a short tamil song with lyrics and i wonder how it would be if i uploaded it on youtube. do you think people would recognise me. hmm i think i shall give it a try.
God created certain things in life for us to learn, teach, enpower and lift our moods.
Music is something more just something i listen to pass time. It creates another world for me where when i enter it seems perfect.i become a film maker where i create the scenes i wish. Its like i can escape and my own reality sinks in front of my very eyes.
It helps me write anything and everything. I started this blog where i wont think twice what i want to write. where i dont hold my self for anything. it doesnt matter if it doesnt make sense and with the music i can go on.
I wish sometimes though that i can make my dream world a reality and thats when the music stops and i feel like fading off.
Life does make you hold back but when the music starts, i feel myself soaring away. My life, my world. Its so intoxicating that i cannot stop anymore. Call me a dreamer, whatever it is. I like it. I love it. I feel pain in it as well. I have made it my world where there is everything there.
I can also write when i listen to music only . even though its not great writing. i am not here to please anyone except me.
Great.. i wonder if i will keep up with this one.. I seem to start a new blog every two years and then i disappear off… oh wait that reminds me of something.. a bit like my relationships.. okay.. joke over.. okay so its not even a joke..
Look the thing is i cant write.. i just blabber on hoping i hit on something.
Basically i cant talk to people about my feelings.. it just doesnt come out. trust me i even tried talking to a therapist. nothin comes out. Its like a mental block or some shit like that. But i am great at listening to other people and giving advise.
Oh well i guess i am what you call preacher or whatever.. its a one way street with me i suppose.
So i wonder again will i keep up with this.. Oh plus i dont want people to know that i am writing so need to use like a vague un inspired blog name.. yes i am Tamil and a woman.. Voila that sums up my creativity …
I doubt anyone is going to read this maybe i can use it as my online diary.. i mean i dont think i even need a password..
Let the words begin…….